12 days till school starts, SEVERAL jobs applied for, no phone calls

I have been waiting patiently for a phone call for at least an interview!! I have applied to several jobs in Okaloosa and Santa Rosa Counties and have not received one phone call! When I say several... its been at least 30. I do have a great substitute position lined up from the first day of school till the end of October and I am super excited about that. It is in a great class, with amazing kids and an awesome teacher! I am looking forward to that but I would like something more permanent and better paying. I don't think that is too much to ask!
I am setting myself a timeline... because I am almost 30 and by the end of this timeline I will have been looking for a teaching job for one whole year. If I have not found a permanent teaching job (or teacher assistant) by December/January then I will just look for a regular job. I need to be realistic... Teaching is a 30 year commitment so I need to start ASAP. I want to have kids, need insurance and would like to quit my 2nd job (the gas station). I am tired of working 15 hours on Sundays (so I can go to church) and having a boss pressuring my to constantly work more hours. I am not ready to give up just yet. But for the next 4-5 months I will be giving this problem to God. If He feels this is where He needs me then He will make it happen. If not, then He will open something else up for me. I am ready for whatever He has in store for me- and I will embrace it with OPEN arms.
I went to visit my Grandma in Wisconsin last month. I got to spend a week with her. It was so hard seeing her in pain. She had some good days and some bad days while I was up there. That was hard. The constant roller coaster of emotions. It broke my heart because at the end of every visit she would hug me and say, "I love you so much, and don't you ever forget it!" And on the last day we were there she said the same thing and broke down crying saying, "Never be afraid to say I love you, Kelani." Ugh, breaks my heart just thinking about it. I am glad we got to see her and spend time with her but I know she know it will be the last time we see her. :-( She is no longer eating solid food or pureed food. She is only drinking soups and juices. She seems to be hanging in there for now.

Chances are so hard to come by and the second one is impossible to find.

The lesson of the day for today is: It is better to regret something you have done than regret something you haven't.

Think about it! If you have done something and regret it then there is nothing you can do now... nothing to change the way things played out, no way to change the outcome. HOWEVER, if you did NOT do something you are ALWAYS wondering, "What if?" In my opinion that is the worst thing you can think about. All the different scenarios running through your head, all the possible outcomes. It can drive a person mad.

Why, you ask, am I thinking about this? Well I had an interview today at an AMAZING place. All I had to do was do a 5 minute presentation on recruiting for the college and it had to be creative! Well I did a power point on lots of information about the college but it had no pizazz! Nothing I had stood out. I had 2 days to work on it and I stayed up late working on it and got up early to work on it but it lacked the main component they were looking for.... CREATIVENESS. I didn't want to embarrass myself and was worried about wasting their time. So, I did not go. As soon as I hung up the phone from cancelling the interview I felt relieved but filled with regret too. :-(

I started thinking several questions:
What if I was being too critical of my own work? Usually we are our own worst critics? Aren't we?
What if I went to the interview and they liked my stuff? What if I got the job?
What if I burned a bridge God was laying out for me?

I walked around the rest of the day feeling horrible. As most of you know, regret is not a good feeling. I realized there is nothing more I can do with this situation.... I should not dwell on it anymore than I already have. I decided that I learned an important lesson thorough this debacle so I should move on.

But what if.....??

Bloom where God plants you!

As I was fed up from working the usual 15 hour shift this weekend I said a mini-prayer, "Please God, if I am not meant to be in the school systems please let me know. Let something else become available! I do not know what you want me to do but please put it in front of me!" I have been so determined on getting a teaching job and into a classroom that I haven't stopped to think what God wants for me or where I am SUPPOSE to be! It is kinda funny that I was trying to lead my own life... I had to step back and regroup.

That was Sunday. Monday I got 2 phone calls for interviews! Tell me that is not a coincidence! I had an interview today at an Elementary school BUT it is only for a part-time position for after school care from 3 pm-6pm, HOWEVER, it will get my foot in the door! The interview went AMAZING! The lady, Mae, I interviewed with was spectacular!! She told me to call her back after my interview with the YMCA tomorrow!

 This brings me to tomorrow- I have an interview with the YMCA. It is full-time, benefits, and decent pay AND it would work with BOTH my Public Relations degree and with children (which I love). Feels like this would be the right job to go with everything I have worked for to this point!

If you know me then you know I believe in signs. I believe everything happens for a reason! While I was interviewing with Mae today, I was praying for a sign... Something to PROVE to me this was the right path! Well when I went out to my car, it wouldn't start! I called Dustin and he came up there put some gas in my car because I was low on fuel and parked on a hill. We thought maybe that would fix the issue. NOPE! Then we tried jumping the car... NOPE. (Mae came out to help suggest stuff,) BTW- How embarrassing is it to break down right in front of where you have an interview?!!! Tried pushing it and double clutching it to get it to start, NOPE! Called a friend because her husband is a mechanic- he said the problem may be a starter. We call pep boys they say same thing and give us the price of $350 plus $49.99 for a tow! We start calling other place to see if it could be done cheaper! Eventually called the 1-800-PepBoys number  to get towed and it was busy. Then called another tow place and they said it would be 2 hours before they could come. SIGH. About this time Mae and another lady walk up (can't remember her name), we tell them everything we have tried. The woman says, "Pop your hood, lemme see what I can do. I am a jack of all trades!" I popped it. She sees that the battery terminal is corroded which I had just cleaned off a little bit. She asked Dustin if he had some pliers to clean off the rest of it. He did and when he touched the battery terminal he saw it was loose! He tightened it and LOW AND BEHOLD the car started!!!

Now you tell me, is that a sign? Or just bad luck?

So here I am... I have the YMCA interview tomorrow. I am going to see how it goes and go from there. I want to make the right decisions but I never know what the right decisions are at the time. So what if I get offered both of them? Then what?? Either way I don't feel like I can go wrong! I have been praying about it non-stop!

All in all, lesson of the day was.... I need to be the passenger and God needs to be the driver!

Time is what we want most, but... what we use worst. ~Willaim Penn

Wow... So my last post was 2 months ago!!! Since we have moved to Florida time is passing by so fast. I cannot believe I am 27 years old. I am so close to 30 it scares me. I haven't even accomplished close to all the things I plan to do by 30. Because I see time ticking by so quickly, now you better believe I will be knocking those things off my list at a rapid rate!

2011 is coming to a close. I can say that this year was pretty good to me, definitely better than 2010 but I am looking forward to the new year of 2012!

I had my first teaching interview in Florida today. It went well. During the interview they asked me a question about Fluency and for a split second I forgot what it was. I was so nervous.... but I recovered. I am hoping I receive a good call next week. It is for a 3rd grade position and the school seems absolutely amazing, all the staff are nice. It was just a great experience and I want to work there! I have all my paperwork turned in for 2 counties now so I am hoping I hear something soon. I put packets in for teaching and/or substitute teaching in both counties and have been praying hard for one or the other!

Dustin started his new job on October 18. He loves it so far and it's good pay. It is pretty much a tie between his electrical background and Papa Johns driving background because he delivers electrical supplies all over the panhandle and Alabama area. I am glad he likes it! He is also looking into going to school to pursue a degree so he can be a park ranger! I think that is a good choice, he loves the outdoors so he would be GREAT at it.

I am still working at the gas station for the time being but I picked up another job on October 19 (my birthday). I work at a "school" for disabled adults. I give mad props to everyone who works there. It is NO walk in the park. I have had to see/hear/do things that are not pretty. My heart aches for some of these people. In the 3 weeks I have been there, I realized that this is not something I can do for much longer. I would have quit but I was taught never to 'burn your bridges' and I just cannot being myself to quit after only 3 weeks. So I am in a dilemma. Like I said, I admire everyone in any "care-giving" field. It is just not something I can handle.

The time change has got me all messed up. Here in Florida it is bright at 6:30am and getting dark by 4:30pm and it is CRAZY!! LOL I guess we will get used to it! Still, I love it here in the "Sunshine State!"

Unless I get this teaching job, we will be going home or to our hometown as Brandon would say, for Thanksgiving! (Because Florida is our new home!)  Also, Dustin's best friend is getting married and he is the Best Man. :-D I know I am excited to see some friends and family! Oh and my kitties!! :-D

Well, that is about all that is going on here. I guess I will get off here and finish this Bears vs. Eagles game with my boo! Go Bears! (Only time you will ever here me root for them is when they're not playing the Packers!)

P.S I wanted to share this link. It is Awesome!