And there's your sign....

This story takes place on Saturday, August 31, 2013. I woke up, took Dustin to his friends house to carpool to work. I came home and showered. While I was in the shower I was thinking... I ALWAYS do my best thinking in the shower. Sometimes I pray there too. Well I was doing a combination of the two, thinking and praying, and I came to think about a promise I made to God. I promised that if I got a teaching job this year that I would donate $100 to St. Jude Children's Hospital with my first "teacher" paycheck! Well I wasn't expecting my first check till end of September but I received one at the end of August. (That Friday before.) When I thought about this promise I thought of what I would have to do to honor it. We don't have a working bank account right now so we don't have checks and I know St. Jude Children's Hospital does not take cash. The only other option I could think of was a money order. I told myself I would look it up later on the internet and decide what way I would do it to ensure I would honor my promise!

A little while later...
So, I leave the house, go pay rent and then come home for a few minutes to pass time till I met my friend Wavie for lunch. In the 30 minutes I was home the craziest things happened to me!! First, when I went pee (TMI, sorry) and flushed the toilet, the toilet started making some weird noises. When I turned around I see that the toilet is overflowing. I jump back and flip the rug out of the way then grab the plunger and start plunging. Water continues to pour out onto the floor then all of a sudden I hear this horrible gurgling noise and BOOM all the water is sucked back down and the toilet goes back to normal. We have lived in the apartment for 2 years now and have NEVER EVER had ANY issues with the toilet or plumbing at all! I pick up the rug to take it outside to dry because the corner is a little wet. As I open the door I see a BRIGHT flash of lightning that felt like it was right in front of me and immediately after that I hear a HUGE CRASH of thunder! It scared the crap out of me! The CRAZIEST part of all this.... it was SUNNY outside! There was literally no clouds in the sky AT ALL!! As I take the rug back into the bathroom to hang it on the tub I look at the towels mopping up the water on the floor and start to think maybe God is trying to tell me something. I think to myself, "Maybe God is trying to tell me to stay home." Maybe God is trying to keep me home so I don't have an accident or something." After contemplating a few moments about whether to call and cancel or not, I decide to go. I didn't have any bad feelings so I felt I was doing the right thing.

I got to Chili's first and while I am waiting for Wavie I notice something on the wall for a wristband that is $4.00 donated to St. Jude Children's Hospital. I thought to myself, "Hmmmm. I will ask about that." Well when Wavie gets there and we get seated the first thing the waitress tells us about the "Create a Pepper" fundraiser. You all have seen it, I am sure. You color the pepper any way you like and then you can donate some money! Well I already knew this was God's way of saying, "Ok, Kelani I gave you these two weird and crazy signs to get your attention.... HERE IS YOUR SIGN!!" Sometimes I can be a little slow on the uptake.... I proudly colored my pepper (looked horrible- but I tried, LOL) and wrote $100 in the donation box. Wavie was shocked, I told her my story and she said that is a testimony right there. When the waitress came to give us our bill she asked about our peppers. Wavie told her about hers and then said, "You have to hear her testimony (pointing at me) behind her donation!" When I hand her mine and she see the $100 bill she takes a step back and gets teary eyed and says, "Tell me your story." I told her EVERYTHING above that you have just read. She is holding back tears and says, " I have to tell you that this means a lot to me because St. Jude is close to my heart." She said her son was born with an extra chromosome (not down syndrome but something else) and her husband is in the military and is deployed often. She said that St. Jude has put her in a house during times when her son needed medical care. She said she knows families who have lost their children and St. Jude pays off their medical bills. She said she knew she was blessed because her son would live a long life with few limitations compared to other families who weren't so lucky. Her story touched me.

As we were leaving a manager and 2 other employees came up and thanked me for my donation. I guess she had went back and told coworkers my story. I know she was having a hard time containing herself while talking to me. It really touched my heart.

(Had I decided not to follow God's signs I would never have heard her story.)

I didn't do the donation for anyone other than God. I wanted to honor my promise to Him. I wanted to show Him that I will follow Him and try to LISTEN as best as possible. It is hard for me sometimes because... well I cant put into words why.... Other than it is hard trusting someone other than yourself. Especially a Higher power...

I wanted to share this story because it touched me in so many ways.
1. I was proud to honor my promise to God. Proud that I trusted Him and LISTENED to Him.
2. I wanted to share that I feel BLESSED because God did communicate with me and I was OPEN to it. Before I would have ignored it all.
3. It really touched my heart to hear her story.

"Learn to appreciate what you have, before time makes you appreciate what you had."

I received some REALLY sad/bad news last night. Then I heard it straight from the source tonight.

There are several harsh realities in life... things far more important than difficult times, disappointments, failures, etc. What I am talking about is sicknesses- such as cancer. Cancer is not something you choose but rather something that chooses you. The dreadful thing about this sickness is that there is no cure and new forms of cancer are found daily.

Over the last few years I have seen and heard of people who have cancer, people who have beat cancer and people who have lost their battle. It is sad. Both of my grandfathers have died from different forms of cancer. It is heartbreaking the amount of people and their families fighting this illness. Everyone knows someone or of someone touched by the big "C".

The point of this post it to let people know that life is short. As you know, once you are out of school and in the working world TIME FLIES. Make the best of it. Tell your loved ones that you love them and let them know how important they really are. Treat your family members with love and respect- just because they are here today does not necessarily mean they will be here tomorrow.

I know this sounds cliche but I had to let out what I have been feeling. Do not put off phone calls or cards.... pick up the phone and take those 10-20 minutes out of your busy day to let someone know you were thinking of them. Use the $ .32 or $ .42 stamps (however much they are now) to send a card or letter just to let someone know you were thinking of them. After all, it is the small gestures that REALLY mean the most. It is those small gestures that people will remember.

Regrets. I know you don't want a loved one to pass on without you telling them how you feel. So take the time NOW to do the things you want to do but are too busy to do.... or THINK you are too busy to do. Otherwise, you will be wasting a lot more time than it would have taken with regrets. (Trust me, I know a lot about regrets and you do NOT want to be stuck with  "what if's"!)

Well, well, well.... a little fed up.

OK. So I guess I have finally come to my breaking point. I am fed up with being fat. If you saw me in high school compared to now you'd think, "DAMN, what the hell happened?" I have amazing friends and family (most) who have not said anything about my weight. People that have loved me no matter what. Thank you! However, today as I looked in the mirror I really did not recognize myself. I thought.... how could you let yourself go the way you did. And in response I have several excuses, many reasons but none that are acceptable. When I say I am fed up, I mean it.

I have requested for a 7 day trial at a gym to hold me over until after Dustin's parents trip down here. (We want to save money for when they are down here!) But when they leave I WILL get a membership. I need/want it!

I want to have babies but cannot at this weight. I want to have a new wardrobe and not be hot all day, every day. I want to feel confident. I want to be comfortable in a bathing suit ESPECIALLY because I live in FLORIDA for crying out loud!

On this note... I am getting started. I have started eating healthy the last week or so but it is time to buckle down. I am going to post a pic next time of me that day and share my updates and goals with you. As if you care. No one reads this anyway! LOL I have 2 "followers" and no comments on any post! So I KNOW no one really reads this. At least it will be a motivator/daily reminder for me.