"Something BIG done happened to me and I gotta tell the world about it!" Mary Mary

First, let me start by saying that if you haven't read my last post (or last few), maybe you should! It will give you some background information!

Over the last two weeks I have been having revelations about situations I am going through. I am positive it is God letting me know WHY I had to go through those situations! I understand that several people do not get those answers a lot of the time and for that, I feel blessed! He has pretty much validated to me why I went through all these bad things/obstacles! I am excited to share all this with you! So bare with me, it may be LONG!

Less than a month ago something terrible happened to me while I was working at the gas station. I mentioned this in my July 14 post-Trials and Tribulations. This thing had the power to affect my whole life! It could've affected my career in a negative way which is my means, my dream and it made me feel HORRIBLE. I am still not ready to go too much into it. (I know I promised I would but I am not sure I should.) Anyway, when this happened I felt horrible and my whole live became one big question mark. I had to realize what was wrong in my life and I am a big believer in Karma. You get what you deserve! I was trying to find out what it was I did wrong. I realized I had been telling God for a year that if He allowed me to not work on Sundays then I would go to church. Well I hadn't worked a Sunday for a month and never once went. Hindsight 20/20... he was making a path for me. He knew that the only way I would finally leave that gas station was to have something bad happen to me there to give me a "bad taste in my mouth" about it. He knows how stubborn I am. He wasn't punishing me, he was HELPING me!

Let me give you a timeline of my path:
**Friday, July 12, 2013- This is the day the bad event happened and I felt horrible. On that day I realized this was a trial and tribulation that God was giving me to guide me to where He wants me! I had been praying for God to help build our relationship and He gave me Trials and Tribulations so I would trust Him! It worked!
**Sunday, July 14, 2013- My first time going to church here in Florida. Amazing experience. That sermon was JUST FOR ME!
**Sunday, July 21,2013- I was reading a daily devotional on my phone (free app) and praying a lot! Just having faith in Him!
**Friday, July 26, 2013- I heard God speak to me and tell me to, "Be patient." I praised Him hard and I was SO happy to get a message!!
**Tuesday, July 30, 2013- This was an important day I had been waiting for all month. It came and God did not fail me although I did not have the answers I wanted THAT DAY. He delivered later! I went out that day and bought a daily devotional that my friend had recommended it! (Jesus Calling by Sarah Young)
**Wednesday July 31,2013- When I prayed to God on this morning and was talking with Him about wanting a teaching job this year He told me to send emails to Principals and mention my ESL experience. It turns out that all my praying and emailing the Principals worked because an hour later I had a hit for an interview that coming Friday! (That ended up being the job I got!) Later this day at church I had revelation/epiphany about why things were happening the way they were for me. This is when I came to the realization that the reason that bad event happened at the gas station was to get me out of the gas station. God wanted me to have a "bad taste in my mouth" about going back for several reasons! 1. So we could continue our great and growing relationship. Because if I went back to working there again I would surely be working 15 hour Sundays again in no time. 2. Because He already had this teaching job lined up for me. I am sure there are several more reasons I just do not know yet!
**Thursday August 1, 2013- I had another hit on my emails. I set up another interview for Friday morning! I was beyond elated!
**Monday August 5, 2013- I got my job offer at Northwood Elementary in Crestview!! This was the principal that responded to me RIGHT after I felt that God told me to email the principals! As soon as I accepted this job I got a call about the thing I did not get answers to on July 30! This is when He delivered later!!! And boy, did He deliver! He answered all my prayers! I was still worried about one little thing and continued to pray about it!
**Wednesday August 7, 2013- He answered that one little thing I prayed about!! I also signed my teaching contract this day!!!!

Today I had a HUGE revelation into God's plan... and it brought me to tears! As soon as it happened I called my mom to tell her! I had to tell someone and I knew she would share my excitement and enthusiasm and understand me!

This is what I told her in a nutshell:
I told her I realized today that I was meant to get that classroom assistant job at Silver Sands (which I really LOVED) because it made me meet a lady named Nora (and several other AWESOME people). I worked with Nora this summer and at the end of this summer about a week after this bad event happened to me- her husband started working at my old gas station (He kind of took my place.) And Bud LOVES him! When I talked to Bud last night he asked me for my key to the store back! Some of y'all should know how happy this makes me! It finally closed that chapter! I know God wanted me out of there to fulfill my purpose elsewhere. And it makes me feel AMAZING to think I am apart of something bigger! What if I never met Nora or her husband never went to work for Bud? What if I didn't take that bad event as a sign from God? What if I didn't listen to God when He was talking to me? Would I have been patient or would I have given up? Would I have emailed that principal? Would I have gotten this AWESOME 4th grade teaching job?!?! And what purpose do I have for being at this school, in this grade? I am excited to find out!! And I trust that in His time God will reveal it to me! Or maybe he won't but either way I WILL trust Him!

During this wonderful chat with my mom she helped me realize several things... in no particular order!

• It is always easy to take the nicely paved road that has several water stops along the way. But when you take the road less traveled you go uphill, downhill, come across rocks, holes, jutting branches, big trees in the way! But you must trust that God will be there to guide you when you feel you cannot go on, guide you when you don't know what to do or to just guide you because there is a better way. The road less traveled is A LOT harder but it is SOOOOOOO worth it once you get there!
• I am a lot more blessed that I give myself credit for. I, and my mom agrees, am blessed with intuition that a lot of people do not have! I am just really finding out how great it is!
• I am also blessed that God has just laid a clear path for me. When I accepted this job in Crestview (30 minutes in the opposite direction of Dustin's work) (We share a car.) I wasn't worried because I KNEW God would make a way for us and he did! The day I accepted the job him and another guy decided they would be carpooling together! All I have to do is drop Dustin off at his house in the morning! How awesome is that?!
• My mom and I have ALWAYS had someone to take us under their wing, to guide and help us when we needed it the most! I had several people growing up and even now! So blessed and thankful!! 

Praising Him like NO tomorrow!! So grateful, humbled, blessed and impressed!


P.S. If you want to know this even I will share it with you, I have no problem with that. But I did not want to put it on here.

Praise Him in the Middle of it!

There is a song called "In the Middle of it" by Isaac Carree that got me through this week! I listened to it at least 20-30 times. I made sure I listened to it first thing in the morning when I was getting ready for work, when I was feeling down, when I felt like things weren't going my way, or when I was just feeling discouraged. This song helped A LOT!! Not only is the message positive but it is upbeat! Bonus: The guy is from North Carolina! :-)

I even branched out and asked some friends, that I know listen to the same kind of music I do, for some recommendations on gospel and christian rock music. I got several names and have listened to a few and really like most of them!! I look forward to continuing finding GREAT music! I feel that it is important for me to surround myself with His word or else it will be easy for me to walk away from it again!

I started reading a Daily Devotional on my phone. I like it because it gives me a short Bible verse and then explains it in a way that I can understand it, with REAL world issues. It gives me a shot of God. I like to read it before I even get out of bed in the morning. It does wonders for my day! I was talking to one of my friends (one of whom I got the great music advice from) and she reads a daily devotional book by a lady named Sarah Young. I will be buying that book on Friday so we can do it together. I like the short, fast one on my phone but I really want to spend time learning the word too. And my friend says this devotional book is really good!! Can't wait!

Some important lessons I've learned this week:

• "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness. So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me." 2 Corinthians 12:8-9 This has helped me get through the week. I feel this goes along with my Trials and Tribulations post from last week because I KNOW God is working on His relationship with me and that is why I am going through these struggles. I am having these moments of weakness so that I will use God's grace to get through while praising Him to help me strengthen my faith in Him.

• "Teach me your ways, O Lord, that I may live according to your truth! Grant me purity of heart, so that I may honor you." Psalm 86:11 The best way to learn the ways of the Lord is by reading the Bible to see examples from the past and understanding Jesus' words. We also learn through listening to other believers who follow Christ. The final way we learn is when we honestly seek God. He will reveal His will through our thoughts and convictions. While we learn His way we will still struggle but it will help to pray: "Lord, please grant me purity of heart, so that I may honor you."

• "And don't sin by letting anger control you. Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil." Ephesians 4:26-27 Ohhhh, this one is a HUGE one for me!! It is SO easy for anger to get the best of us!! And how many of us go to bed mad? Or leave mad? It is okay to walk away from a situation when you are upset, but only for a short time- to cool off. You must go back and give forgiveness or else you are allowing the devil to dwell inside you. Anger can deteriorate your relationships... anger turns into resentment and irritability which will kill any relationship. God provides peace, grace and forgiveness. 

I have been enjoying talking with my friends and family about their faith and their journeys. I have enjoyed all their input and the help they've given me with my journey (that is still going on). I look forward to where I can go and what I can do with God by my side.

P.S. Still no word on teaching jobs. I have applied to several more in the last week, emailed principals AND dropped off resumes. No Luck. Please say a prayer for me to get a GREAT teaching job where I will be the MOST useful!

Trials and Tribulations

Things haven't been easy for me lately. I am not whining or trying to throw a pity party. I am simply using this as the foundation to this post, in hopes that it may give someone who is questioning WHY, some help.

Sitting down and praying to God has been hit or miss with my lately. I have been WANTING to pray daily but never get around to it or have some excuse. I find myself praying only when I need or want something. Is that fair? No, and what kind of relationship is that? Would you want to be in a relationship in which you give more than you take? While reflecting one night I prayed and asked God to help me have a better relationship with Him, to please make me WANT to know AND need him daily. I did not know what I was asking. Matter of fact, I still don't! I had no idea of the trials and tribulations God would put on me, nor do I know the ones that are in store for me! But I have learned that that with God by my side I will be okay! I just need to keep my faith!

I haven't been to church in a long time, not since I moved to Florida. I have officially lived in Florida for 2 years. As soon as we moved here I found a job working at a gas station in which I worked 15 hours every Sunday (7am-10pm). Working those kinds of hours I could not attend church. I told myself and God that if I was able to leave the gas station (financially) then I would find a church and work on my relationship with God. God allowed this, as my last day at the gas station was June 9. Since then 4 Sundays have passed. Today was number 5 and I finally honored my promise and made it to church! In the last few weeks leading up to today several things have been great! Other things as far as my career have been "the road less traveled," in other words, rough. I was struggling and praying to God to help me fix these things. It wasn't until this Friday, July 12, that I realized what I was going through! I was going through Trials and Tribulations! On this day something terrible happened to me while I was working at the gas station (I was doing the owner a favor just for 2 days so he could attend his religious festival.) I am not ready to talk about what this "bad" is yet but I will share at a later time! I promise. I goggled, because Google has the answer for everything, Trials and Tribulations and what I found impacted me tremendously!

Trials and Tribulations are put on God's children to test us to stay loyal to God and to trust that he will get us through our conflict. God gives us these conflicts to help build our relationship with Him, to help increase your faith and trust in Him, that you will ask, Lord please help me get through this. He wants you to turn to Him in your time of dire need. This is a time where it can make or break your faith! This morning I went to a church my friend attends. She was not able to come today so I went alone, probably better anyway since I was a blubbering mess. But can you guess what this mornings message was??? It was Prophet Endurance..... in another words Prophets trials and tribulations. Think that is a coincidence?? I am not so sure.

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. James 1:12

Think about all of the Prophets in the Bible....Jeremiah, Daniel, Job, Jonah, Hosea, Zechariah, John the Baptist, Peter, Paul, James and even Jesus. Now think of their stories, think of their trials and tribulations and all the conflicts they went through. Daniel was a slave. Could we remain faithful dealing with what Daniel went through? Hosea married the prostitute Gomer and continued to forgive her. Could we have that kind of forgiveness for our spouse? Jonah disobeyed God and refused to go to Nineveh and got on a ship to sail in the opposite direction. He ended up jumping ship and was swallowed by a great fish. In this whale's belly where he sat for 3 days and 3 nights he repented and cried out for God. How many times have you ignored the word of God... or simply not heard it!? During these trials, during these tribulations we need to be patient and have trust, faith, praise and prayer with God. He is teaching us the endurance we will need later in life.

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Romans 12:12

One last tidbit of information... One should not confuse trials and tribulations with consequences to your bad actions. There is a fine line.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

Our greatest strength as a human race is our ability to acknowledge our differences, our greatest weakness is our failure to embrace them.

Quote from Judith Henderson.
I just finished reading "Sing You Home" by Jodi Picoult and I have to say that it was pretty much an amazing book. All of her books are controversial but this one hit on so many topics. All of them evoked feelings in me. The book touched on IVF, divorce, religion, and same-sex marriage.

Let's start with divorce... I grew up in a home with a single mother and I carried the role of mother, father, sister, baby sitter for several years. (Though I get NO credit for that now!) That divorce caused me a lot of pain. When my parents were married things were great (for me) I was daddy's little girl, etc. However, when my dad divorced my mom, he divorced me as well, coming in and out of my life for several years. I would go 6 months without talking to him at times. It really messed me up. I even blacked out about a year of my life. My mom tells me I saw a child psychologist- I remember nothing of this. I had to grow up faster than my peers to help take care of my sister (no regrets) but I didn't really have a childhood. This all brings me to the decision that I do not want to get divorced. I know ALL couples get married with the intentions of staying married forever but luckily I have married someone who agrees with me on this point. We will do any and everything to keep the marriage together, especially if we have children. We are starting early by reading books and doing communication activities to help us understand each other. (Sounds dumb but preventative measure, I guess.)

Next, In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) is a new idea I just learned about. I feel like this is a good thing for people who want to have children but do not have the means (their bodies) to do so. I am scared that one day this may be me and pray to God that I do not have to go through some of the stuff I have read in this book or have heard several of my friends go through just to get pregnant. I pray it is a smooth process when we are really ready but somehow I do not think it will be that easy for me. This is a controversial subject for religious folks but I say more power to the people who want children and can use IVF. Their choice.... America is a FREE country.

Religion... the book touched on this a lot! I found SEVERAL things Picoult pointed out in her book that I agree with. For example, the character Angela pointed out all the things in the Bible that wouldn't make any sense to do now. This includes stoning a woman who marries but is not a virgin AND when a woman becomes a widow she marries his brother. These are all things I have questions about plus sooooo many more. Why do some religious people go against homosexuals?

After all, aren't they people just like you and I? Who are they to JUDGE anyone? I thought the Bible says to love everyone and that God was ONLY person to judge us. That being said why can't some people at least tolerate gay people without all the criticism and stares and protests. They are people just like you and I. I know several gay couples who have been together for 15 plus years. I admire relationships like theirs because they seem to last longer than some heterosexual couples. I say we just let people love who they love.

Mark 12:31- Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these. Luke 6:31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.

All in all... I feel like NO ONE should judge ANYONE. No one person is better than any other person. Love everyone no matter what color, size, shape, gender, religion, or sexual orientation. Love each other for your differences. After teaching my ESL students this year, I find that the differences are the BEST things to learn from and you meet some REALLY amazing people!