“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.”

"Motivation is what gets you started. Habit it what keeps you going." Jim Rohn 


This is going to be my motto for the next few months! Tomorrow I am going to sign up with a gym where I can get this weight off once and for all. I plan on also training to run my first 5k. I am aiming to run my first one by the end July/ beginning of August. I think that is a fair time limit. I want to lose weight but I mainly want to focus on being healthy and I know the rest will follow.


I will keep you posted. When I sign up for the gym I will be taking before pictures!


Also... little side note. I tried on some super cute dresses and bathing suits today and I wonder, "Where the heck do big people shop?" And "are they not worried about looking pregnant?" Anyway- more motivation.

Well, well, well.... a little fed up.

OK. So I guess I have finally come to my breaking point. I am fed up with being fat. If you saw me in high school compared to now you'd think, "DAMN, what the hell happened?" I have amazing friends and family (most) who have not said anything about my weight. People that have loved me no matter what. Thank you! However, today as I looked in the mirror I really did not recognize myself. I thought.... how could you let yourself go the way you did. And in response I have several excuses, many reasons but none that are acceptable. When I say I am fed up, I mean it.

I have requested for a 7 day trial at a gym to hold me over until after Dustin's parents trip down here. (We want to save money for when they are down here!) But when they leave I WILL get a membership. I need/want it!

I want to have babies but cannot at this weight. I want to have a new wardrobe and not be hot all day, every day. I want to feel confident. I want to be comfortable in a bathing suit ESPECIALLY because I live in FLORIDA for crying out loud!

On this note... I am getting started. I have started eating healthy the last week or so but it is time to buckle down. I am going to post a pic next time of me that day and share my updates and goals with you. As if you care. No one reads this anyway! LOL I have 2 "followers" and no comments on any post! So I KNOW no one really reads this. At least it will be a motivator/daily reminder for me.

Chances are so hard to come by and the second one is impossible to find.

The lesson of the day for today is: It is better to regret something you have done than regret something you haven't.

Think about it! If you have done something and regret it then there is nothing you can do now... nothing to change the way things played out, no way to change the outcome. HOWEVER, if you did NOT do something you are ALWAYS wondering, "What if?" In my opinion that is the worst thing you can think about. All the different scenarios running through your head, all the possible outcomes. It can drive a person mad.

Why, you ask, am I thinking about this? Well I had an interview today at an AMAZING place. All I had to do was do a 5 minute presentation on recruiting for the college and it had to be creative! Well I did a power point on lots of information about the college but it had no pizazz! Nothing I had stood out. I had 2 days to work on it and I stayed up late working on it and got up early to work on it but it lacked the main component they were looking for.... CREATIVENESS. I didn't want to embarrass myself and was worried about wasting their time. So, I did not go. As soon as I hung up the phone from cancelling the interview I felt relieved but filled with regret too. :-(

I started thinking several questions:
What if I was being too critical of my own work? Usually we are our own worst critics? Aren't we?
What if I went to the interview and they liked my stuff? What if I got the job?
What if I burned a bridge God was laying out for me?

I walked around the rest of the day feeling horrible. As most of you know, regret is not a good feeling. I realized there is nothing more I can do with this situation.... I should not dwell on it anymore than I already have. I decided that I learned an important lesson thorough this debacle so I should move on.

But what if.....??

Bloom where God plants you!

As I was fed up from working the usual 15 hour shift this weekend I said a mini-prayer, "Please God, if I am not meant to be in the school systems please let me know. Let something else become available! I do not know what you want me to do but please put it in front of me!" I have been so determined on getting a teaching job and into a classroom that I haven't stopped to think what God wants for me or where I am SUPPOSE to be! It is kinda funny that I was trying to lead my own life... I had to step back and regroup.

That was Sunday. Monday I got 2 phone calls for interviews! Tell me that is not a coincidence! I had an interview today at an Elementary school BUT it is only for a part-time position for after school care from 3 pm-6pm, HOWEVER, it will get my foot in the door! The interview went AMAZING! The lady, Mae, I interviewed with was spectacular!! She told me to call her back after my interview with the YMCA tomorrow!

 This brings me to tomorrow- I have an interview with the YMCA. It is full-time, benefits, and decent pay AND it would work with BOTH my Public Relations degree and with children (which I love). Feels like this would be the right job to go with everything I have worked for to this point!

If you know me then you know I believe in signs. I believe everything happens for a reason! While I was interviewing with Mae today, I was praying for a sign... Something to PROVE to me this was the right path! Well when I went out to my car, it wouldn't start! I called Dustin and he came up there put some gas in my car because I was low on fuel and parked on a hill. We thought maybe that would fix the issue. NOPE! Then we tried jumping the car... NOPE. (Mae came out to help suggest stuff,) BTW- How embarrassing is it to break down right in front of where you have an interview?!!! Tried pushing it and double clutching it to get it to start, NOPE! Called a friend because her husband is a mechanic- he said the problem may be a starter. We call pep boys they say same thing and give us the price of $350 plus $49.99 for a tow! We start calling other place to see if it could be done cheaper! Eventually called the 1-800-PepBoys number  to get towed and it was busy. Then called another tow place and they said it would be 2 hours before they could come. SIGH. About this time Mae and another lady walk up (can't remember her name), we tell them everything we have tried. The woman says, "Pop your hood, lemme see what I can do. I am a jack of all trades!" I popped it. She sees that the battery terminal is corroded which I had just cleaned off a little bit. She asked Dustin if he had some pliers to clean off the rest of it. He did and when he touched the battery terminal he saw it was loose! He tightened it and LOW AND BEHOLD the car started!!!

Now you tell me, is that a sign? Or just bad luck?

So here I am... I have the YMCA interview tomorrow. I am going to see how it goes and go from there. I want to make the right decisions but I never know what the right decisions are at the time. So what if I get offered both of them? Then what?? Either way I don't feel like I can go wrong! I have been praying about it non-stop!

All in all, lesson of the day was.... I need to be the passenger and God needs to be the driver!

What the teacher is, is more important than what (s)he teaches. ~Karl Menninger

In the last 2 weeks I have had a substitute job everyday! I have been to a few different Elementary schools, and a school for kids with special needs. Those students are from the ages of 4-23! When these students get their certificate they go to Pyramid! For just about 2 weeks I worked at this one school subbing for several teachers! It was fun, rewarding and trying all rolled into one. I have a few more jobs lined up this month and April for teachers in this school.

I have subbed for a Kindergarten class and WOW is all I can say! They are SO full of energy! They have a little LESS structure than what I like BUT I had a blast with them. I learned real fast that: 1. Members of the same family should NOT be in the same class. 2. Kindergarteners tattle on EVERYTHING. 3. Three boys going to the bathroom at one time is a MISTAKE! 4. Kindergarteners are so sensitive and sweet! But I loved every minute of it! (I also saw a student get picked up in a hearse which I thought was interesting!)

I worked with 5th grade Science and loved it as well. The subject area for 5th graders is fun and interesting to me!! The behaviors were a little outrageous especially since the day before I worked with Kindergarteners but it was still enjoyable! I heard a 5th grader say "She's got more cushion for the pushin'!" I thought to myself "WHAT THE HECK DID HE JUST SAY?!" LOL Never a dull day in substituting!!

I subbed for a 5th grade class this week at the Ballet school again. I felt confident teaching everything but when I saw the Math I thought, "Fractions, Decimals and Factors, OH MY!" LOL Luckily I had the book to refresh my memory and Math went without a hitch! I even helped a student and had an "AH HAH" moment! It made my day!!! I love 5th grade and fractions REALLY aren't that bad! I actually kinda liked it!! I really wouldn't mind a 5th grade position at all!!

When I was shopping in Wal-Mart today with Dustin I felt a little kid hug me. I turn to see who it is and it was a Kindergartener I had earlier this week. She ran up and hugged me! It was SOOOOOO stinking cute! My heart melted and I walked around the rest of the day with a big ol' cheesy grin on my face! I cant believe she remembered me! (I know it was this week but still.)

I noticed I have been getting calls daily and from some of the schools that I have been subbing more frequently! Hope they keep coming! It makes me feel good, makes me feel like I am getting really close to my dream of having my own classroom! I can feel it! It is SO close! Keep praying for me y'all!

Sometimes things must fall apart for other things to fall into place.

These last few weeks I have been praying like CRAZY! And I must admit, I feel closer to God than I ever have! It is a great feeling. I have been praying for friends,  family and even the people I am not too fond of and it gets easier. The people I used to have a hard time saying prayers for- it no longer leaves a bitter taste on my tongue. I feel like that is an accomplishment!

Several other things have been in the works for me as well.
I have completed ALL my substitute paperwork and actually subbed 2 days last week, would of been 3 but more on that later! I HOPE I will receive more calls this week. This is how it started: On Monday, January 23- I got a phone call at 6:30 in the morning. As you know I work 15 hours on Sundays and I was planning on sleeping in and enjoying my day off. But when that phone rang and I accepted that job I had energy like no tomorrow! I literally had 45 minutes to drop Dustin off at work, come home, shower and get to the school. I made it! That day I taught music at an Elementary School. It was amazing to get back in the schools again! I LOVE teaching and I love those little kids! I do have to say THANK GOD I took band or I would have been screwed! I taught the recorder, played rhythm bingo, taught a new song and played xylophone! None of this would have been possible without Mr. Thomas, Mr. Kuzero, and Mr. Washburn! LOL I had a blast!

Then on Tuesday, January 24- I was prepared to go into Pyramid  but I got a phone call at 8:00am. I was SOOOOO excited. So I let Pyramid know that I wasn't coming in and told them I would explain later. The job I got called in for was 3rd grade at a Ballet School. And I am not going to lie when I heard this I freaked a little and thought to myself- "Self, as long as you are not teaching Ballet you are good to go!" This ended up being a fantastic day! I had huge breaks because the students went to French for a while, then went to Ballet and lunch. After lunch we came back and did math, reading and social studies. It was great! I love the 3rd grade curriculum. I didn't get a call on Wednesday and Thursday and was super sad about that. Then Thursday night I got a phone call from Pyramid asking me to drive the van Friday morning and to decline a job if I got a sub call. I said I would because they said I would be driving then put in the art room. I got a call an hour later from the school I interviewed at and the Principal personally put me on the sub list. So when I had to decline it it hurt my heart. Then as I am driving the van the next morning I got another call. Then on top of all this!!!! I get put in a DIFFERENT classroom. One with several behaviors. This made me mad at first because I was like, "I missed out on teaching jobs for THIS!??" But I realized as I thought more about it and the day progressed that THIS is what God is teaching me. I felt like he was telling me to no longer LET people walk all over me and that it was MY time to do what I wanted. I needed to "DO ME" in a sense and stop putting my needs/wants on the back burner. I want to teach and that is what I plan on doing!!

I look forward to the up coming weeks and jobs I get. I just hope I didnt ruin my chances of getting more substituting jobs because I declined two this week!

LIVE, LOVE and PRAY!

Drugs are bad mmmm...kay

I do NOT understand why people do drugs. I do not see ANY postiives to doing them. None at all!

• They are a waste of money.
• They are addicting.
• They are bad for your health.
• Ruin ALL relationships.
• They are ILLEGAL.
• They allow you to make DUMB decisions.
• They mess up your brain permanently.
• They make you act like a freaking weirdo!
• Make you look UGLY!

I am sure there are several more but these are the major ones and I don't know about you but there are NONE of those that I just HAVE to HAVE!

I work at a convenience store and I had someone come in looking for something to smoke crack out of. He was getting mad because we didn't have anything for him. It was scary because you don't know what they're going to do next. Its sad the people that come in there and by the swishers, good times, zig zags, rolling papers, etc. Everyone in the world knows what you are doing... Just sad....

Needed to vent sorry.