Wednesday, August 8, 2012
12 days till school starts, SEVERAL jobs applied for, no phone calls
I am setting myself a timeline... because I am almost 30 and by the end of this timeline I will have been looking for a teaching job for one whole year. If I have not found a permanent teaching job (or teacher assistant) by December/January then I will just look for a regular job. I need to be realistic... Teaching is a 30 year commitment so I need to start ASAP. I want to have kids, need insurance and would like to quit my 2nd job (the gas station). I am tired of working 15 hours on Sundays (so I can go to church) and having a boss pressuring my to constantly work more hours. I am not ready to give up just yet. But for the next 4-5 months I will be giving this problem to God. If He feels this is where He needs me then He will make it happen. If not, then He will open something else up for me. I am ready for whatever He has in store for me- and I will embrace it with OPEN arms.
I went to visit my Grandma in Wisconsin last month. I got to spend a week with her. It was so hard seeing her in pain. She had some good days and some bad days while I was up there. That was hard. The constant roller coaster of emotions. It broke my heart because at the end of every visit she would hug me and say, "I love you so much, and don't you ever forget it!" And on the last day we were there she said the same thing and broke down crying saying, "Never be afraid to say I love you, Kelani." Ugh, breaks my heart just thinking about it. I am glad we got to see her and spend time with her but I know she know it will be the last time we see her. :-( She is no longer eating solid food or pureed food. She is only drinking soups and juices. She seems to be hanging in there for now.